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On a rain soaked night that made Heinz field soggier then day old cheerios, the Bengals proved once again that they just aren’t that good this season. If you notice a weird aroma in the air on Saturday, that’s the smell of Fox’s worst announcing crew (which may or may not include Ron Pitts) headed to Paul Brown Stadium for Sunday’s epic Rams-Bengals game.
On a side note, the Browns did lose this past Sunday, and like any other sadistic Bengals fan, my heart warms at the thought of a last second Browns loss on a controversial “no” touchdown.
Well, there are plenty of teams still alive for the playoffs (just not in the cities of Cincinnati or St. Louis), so without further adieu, lets get to the rankings… NFC 1. Dallas Cowboys- With a win this week, the Cowboys can clinch their way into the playoffs, since they have been number one in these rankings since early in the season, I see no reason to pick against them now…Unless Tony Romo elopes with Carrie Underwood, then Dallas might have a problem, I’ll say Romo doesn’t elope and I’ll take the Cowboys 38-24 over the suddenly not so scary Lions.
2. Green Bay Packers- Lets see, they hung with Dallas and their back-up quarterback played over half the game, I’m not sure, but I think that is a good thing. Green Bay will right the ship when Oakland comes to town Sunday, I say Brett Favre throws the ball nine times and the Packers beat the Raiders 24-17. 3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers- Jeff Garcia can’t play, so Jon Gruden throws in a quarterback named McCown (I think there is like 15 of them in the league). The Saints, playing for their lives last Sunday, can’t stop a quarterback who wouldn’t be fifth string on the Patriots. I’m never picking the Bucs to lose again, Tampa 27-20 over Houston. 4. Seattle Seahawks-In their last three wins, Seattle has failed to beat their opponent by more then one score, but now that I think about it, I guess that means nothing, it’s like saying the last three times I drove my car I didn’t go above 50. I suppose my point is this, Arizona in the 27-24 upset. 5. New York Giants- I was perusing NFL.com earlier this week and I noticed that the Giants can clinch a playoff berth this weekend, the catch is that 17 things have to go in their favor, including O.J. Simpson confessing to something, anything, illegal he has done in his life. On a side note, if you have money and you like to bet it on teams that might choke down the stretch, put it on the Giants…to lose 20-17 to the Eagles. 6. Minnesota Vikings- The barbaric Vikings of Minnesota have so impressed me that they debuted in the rankings last week despite a losing record. This is not a team I want to see in the playoffs if I am in the NFC. I’ll take the Vikings over the 49ers 27-10. AFC 1. New England Patriots- Two straight weeks, two straight close calls, and I am not talking about Tom Brady’s girlfriends pregnancy tests. That means that things could get interesting this Sunday in Foxboro when the Steelers come to town… 2. Indianapolis Colts- I love when experts are wrong. “Indy can’t score against Jacksonville.” “No Harrison means no offense, which means no win.” I only paraphrased a couple of the things I heard last week, but Indy’s home field advantage was enough for me to pick them. Now how about those Ravens, the Patriots and then the Colts, someone in the League office must really dislike Ray Lewis. I’ll take the Colts 24-16. 3. Pittsburgh Steelers- The Steelers cost me loads of money every year. I think next season, I’ll start betting on them, but still cheer against them. The key Sunday is going to be a certain Miami University graduate named Benjamin Roethlisberger, if he can play mistake free football, then the Steelers win, if he throws the ball like he was in a motorcycle accident last summer, then the Pats take it. Holy Foot long hotdog, I’ll take the 12 point underdog Steelers in a 27-24 thriller. 4. San Diego Chargers-The Chargers are the Vikings of the AFC, I sure would not want to run into them in the playoffs. If the Bengals are going to keep are playoff hopes alive (which is going to be tough because they’re slimmer then Kate Moss right now), the Chargers have to win this weekend over the Titans and they will by a score of 31-24. 5. Jacksonville Jaguars- Jacksonville is going to lose in the first round of the playoffs, so I can’t really take them seriously, but I will this week because they are playing Carolina. Someone will find the fountain of youth before Jacksonville loses to the Panthers. Jaguars 23-10. 6. Cleveland Browns- My choice for this spot was Cleveland or Tennessee, the Browns play the Jets this Sunday which made this the easiest decision I’ve had since picking the winner of the Florida Gators-Temple Owls game back in September. Browns 30-21 over the Jets. Find Ron Pitts or Randy Cross at your game and win prizes Bears at Redskins- Somebody’s playoff chances are going to end on Sunday, I always pick the home team, but Sunday’s loss may have been a little too emotional for the Skins’, I’ll take the Bears 21-17. Dolphins at Bills- In their quest for NFL history the floundering Dolphins will muster 20 points and still manage to lose by 7. Chiefs at Broncos- This one is easy, Broncos 23-16 because nobody is playing for anything, although, I guess Denver still has an outside shot at the playoffs. Saints at Falcons- When the schedule came out last April, I had this game circled, but then again, I thought Michael Vick would be playing and I thought the Saints would be good. New Orleans 24-17 over the Falcons. RAMS at BENGALS- Alright Bengal fans here is the deal, we win, the Browns lose and the Titans lose and our playoff hopes will still glimmer like the north star at midnight in late December, if not, then our playoff hopes will be extinguished faster then a four-year-old’s birthday candles. So in the spirit of December and because of the fact I am better then the Rams third string quarterback, I’ll take the Bengals 31-21. And if you want to find out who that third string quarterback is, you’ll have to tune in to Fox 19 at 1:00 this Sunday (I know, cheap plug to keep fans watching). Last Week: 9-7
Season: 103-55 Growlzone.com Cincinnati Bengals News |
