Apparently last week’s power rankings were so accurate that only two teams fell out this week. Does this make me a genius, probably, but I’ll gloat later. Once again these rankings are simple, they are done as if I am a one man NCAA selection committee who had to pick the NFL playoff teams after week 8…and no, I won’t screw the Bearcats, I promise.  

NFC 

1.       Chicago Bears-The Bears were beating the 49ers 41-0 at halftime, if only the Bengals could have done that in Miami in 1989. Speaking of Miami, that is who the Bears play this week. Seriously; Arizona, San Francisco and Miami in consecutive weeks, a well coached team of seven-year-olds could be undefeated with the Bears schedule.

2.       N.Y. Giants-They stole the two seed from the free falling Seahawks, and they get a bye week to prepare for the Bears (well actually they play the Texans, but lets not kid ourselves, it’s the same thing).

3.       Atlanta Falcons-Hey Mike Vick lets see you keep up those shenanigans this week when you play a real team like the Detroit Lions.

4.       Seattle Seahawks-The Seahawks without their stars is like Mike Tyson fighting in his prime without his arms, it’s ugly and no wants to watch.

5.       Dallas Cowboys-Last week I predicted the Cowboys had no shot at the playoffs, apparently Carolina coach John Fox was so outraged at my comments that he designed the worst game plan of his life, thanks John, a signed article is in the mail.

6.       Carolina Panthers-Yup, no Vikings, no Saints, no Eagles, no Rams. People, picking the sixth spot in the NFC is not easy, it’s like trying to decide the better movie between Gigli and Glitter.   

AFC 

1.       Indianapolis Colts-I almost feel like I could just cut and paste last week’s AFC rankings. However, have fun in New England Mr. Manning, where you’ve had about the same amount of success as the British did in the revolutionary war.

2.       New England Patriots-Tom Brady needs to get married so that girls will stop throwing me the “I’m holding out for Tom Brady” line. Seriously, can every girl I talk to really be holding out for Tom Brady or am I just naïve.

3.       Denver Broncos-A close loss at home should hurt their ranking, but I’m feeling nice this week. On a side note, if the Broncos lose to the Steelers, they will be banished from the rankings, because the only thing I hate more then the Steelers are teams that lose to the Steelers (Carson Palmerless Bengals non-withstanding)

4.       Baltimore Ravens-A win against an over-rated Saints team didn’t vault them, it was the way their defense played that did it. Imagine tying an air tight trash bag around your head, that’s that kind of suffocation that took place in New Orleans on Sunday.

5.       San Diego Chargers-The Chargers are splendid, what’s not to like about them, a sweet running back, an awesome quarterback, oh wait the steroid taking defensive all star. The Bengals will be hosting these guys in two weeks, but first, the Chargers get to snack on the Browns.

6.       Cincinnati Bengals-Let’s stop kidding ourselves people, the Bengals are not as good as last year. However, I will forget about all 117 off-season arrests if they can bring a “W” home from Baltimore this weekend. On a side note, the Jaguars were considered for this spot, but I can’t get over that loss to Houston. The Chiefs were also considered, but then Robert Geathers called and said he would kill me if I did that, I saw what he did to Trent Green, I am not taking any chances.