Ladies and gentleman, Friday is the best day of the week for two reasons, no work on the weekends and my impeccable power rankings. I’ve had four days to dissect everything but a frog. Forget what you have read on other sites, they’re wrong, I’m right and the Patriots cheat, that is as clear as I can be. For those of you not familiar with my rankings, it’s simple, I rank 12 teams, because 12 teams make the playoffs, oh yea, and I don’t ever rank the Browns, Redskins or Raiders because, well, their terrible, just like Britney Spears’ performance at the MTV video music awards, but that’s another article. Let’s get to the fun stuff…Oh, on a side note; I am ranking a lot of AFC teams this week, because comparing the NFC with the AFC is like comparing Menudo and the Beatles. One more thing, each ranking is followed by my pick for the team’s following game, if you need money, call your bookie, I am never wrong.

1. Cincinnati Bengals- Is it just me or did everyone else notice that the Ravens “lost” this game according to every expert in the country. Best week one victory goes to the Bengals, the “my whole team is injured” award goes to the Ravens. Bengals 31-13 over the Browns.

2. Indianapolis Colts- Wow, is New Orleans that bad or is Indy that good, for the sake of the Bengals Super Bowl hopes, I hope New Orleans is that bad. Look for a good game this week between the Colts and Titans. Indy 27-17.

Pressuring the Ravens' offense led to turnovers, something Bengals aim to repeat.

Bengals middle linebacker Ahmad Brooks mangles words like he mangles running backs. He invents words, such as "distruction."  As soon as Brooks uttered it, he was asked if he meant "disruption" or "destruction."  "Both," he said. "Sometimes I pronounce words wrong. Disruption and destruction. It's all the same thing. As long as I do that, I do my job."

Early in training camp, Brooks said the Bengals have a good, young, fast linebacker "corpse." He meant "corps." Numerous times, he's said he likes to "wreck" havoc in the "background." Translation: "wreak" havoc in the "backfield."  Brooks and his defensive teammates want to wreak havoc in Cleveland and wreck the Browns' offense Sunday — similar to Monday night when the Bengals forced six turnovers in a 27-20 victory over Baltimore.  "As a linebacker, you love it when the defensive coordinator calls for a blitz," Brooks said. "It allows me to get penetration and cause confusion in the backfield. That's how we won the game — getting turnovers and putting our offense in good field position. I'm ready to do it again."

Johnson plans jump into Pound if he scores Sunday!  Chad Johnson can discuss his Hall of Fame credentials if he leaps into the Dawg Pound in Cleveland Browns Stadium.

Dawg Pounders, consider yourselves warned. Bengals receiver Chad Johnson is coming.  Johnson said he plans to do a Lambeau Leap into that end-zone section of Cleveland Browns Stadium if he scores Sunday.  "I'm jumping in the Dawg Pound," he vowed. "It'll be fun, man. I love the Dawg Pound. I talked to a gentleman -- I'm not sure what his name is -- but he's sat there every year since my rookie year. Before every game, I go up to him and talk to him, a heavyset guy who wears a mask. I told him I'm going to jump in there."

Strategy rattles McNair, helps produce six turnovers

A hit from behind by Bengals linebacker Ahmad Brooks caused Ravens quarterback Steve McNair to fumble, one of Baltimore's six turnovers Monday.  Bengals linebacker Ahmad Brooks called it "distruction," an unintentional blending of disruption and destruction.  "Sometimes, I pronounce words wrong," he said sheepishly yesterday.

True enough. In training camp, he referred to his position group as a "linebacker corpse."

But "distruction" is a fitting description of the defense in Cincinnati's 27-20 victory over the Baltimore Ravens on Monday. Using blitzes more often and far more effectively than in recent memory, the Bengals looked more like the Ravens or Pittsburgh Steelers in the way they attacked from different angles.

"I would rather lose attacking somebody than lose sitting back. We attacked (the Ravens), and they couldn't handle the pressure."

Dexter Jackson
Bengals safety

Ravens managed only one sack, but line needs improvement to get rushing game going.

The Cincinnati Bengals' refurbished offensive line was supposed to look like this:  Center Eric Ghiaciuc flanked by left guard Andrew Whitworth and right guard Bobbie Williams — with bookends Levi Jones and Willie Anderson anchored at left and right tackle.  Nowadays, left to right, the line consists of Whitworth, Stacy Andrews, Ghiaciuc and Williams — with Anderson splitting time with Scott Kooistra. Jones? He's nowhere to be found.

Sunday's lineup at Cleveland remains a mystery. This much is clear: It must improve if the Bengals expect to keep winning.  Quarterback Carson Palmer was sacked only once by the Baltimore Ravens, but the Bengals rushed for only 55 yards and Palmer's 20 completions resulted in 194 yards for a 9.7 average.  "We missed a few things," Bengals offensive line coach Paul Alexander said. "But I give Baltimore credit. They gave us a whole slew of new looks. I was happy Palmer only got sacked once. All I know is that Monday night was a battle. It was just constant adjustment after adjustment. It wasn't pretty all the time, but (the line) hung in there, and I was happy."

The brutality is unbearable at times, causing us to turn away in sickened recoil.  A man catches a football, turns and takes a helmet to the ribs. Or he hurls himself into another body. He collapses like a milk jug being readied for recycling. Usually he gets up. Slowly. Sometimes, like in Buffalo on Sunday, he does not. Tragic.

It is a violent sport, a series of choreographed human collisions, but if a team expects to excel it cannot shy from the ferocity. It embraces the vicious and discards the frail.  For too many seasons, particularly on defense, the Cincinnati Bengals have played like United Nations peacekeepers rather than gladiators welcoming the fight. Not last night. The Bengals welcomed into Paul Brown Stadium one of the bullies of the NFL, the Baltimore Ravens, and didn't back down, even as the bodies went down during a 27-20 win.

Willie Anderson limped off like a Hummer with a blown tire. Eric Ghiaciuc hobbled off after taking a shot to the head. Dexter Jackson suffered dehydration, as did Chad Johnson and Deltha O'Neal. Even kicker Shayne Graham aggravated a hip injury.